THE GAINITUDE 11/30

As I said yesterday, the clinic weigh in of 119.2 was awesome, but it's not the same as my morning Gainitude weigh-ins (empty stomach, less clothing, blah blah...I'm sounding like a broken record at this point). The good news is my weight is still trending upward, and had a nice little bump at this morning's weigh-in.
Hitting 119.2 (parity with the clinic weigh in) seems within reach over the next couple weeks or so, and getting to 120 before Christmas is looking more and more concrete.

118.2 lbs
+18.5 lbs in 33 days.

THE CLINIC VISIT

One month. Or 32 days if you want to be exact. 32 days ago I decided I was done being thin, sick, lazy, and unmotivated to take care of myself. In 32 days, I poured in all my effort to gain weight and exercise right.

And now the results are real, and they're fantastic.

Today was my first CF Clinic appointment since I started The Gainitude process. It's been 35 days since I was last at the clinic. Back then (feels like a million years ago), all of my numbers were low and they were wanting to put me on more medications. I knew it wasn't a matter of needing more drugs, it was a matter of ME actually being motivated to be healthier.

So how did Clinic go?

THE WEIGHT
According their official scale, I am now 119.2 lbs, which is almost a 20 pound increase from my last visit a month ago. This number varies a bit from my usual morning Gainitude weigh-ins because those are done with lighter clothing and on an empty stomach. So my Gainitude number tomorrow won't necessarily be above 119, or even 118. But this is the official number the doctors are going with, and it's a pretty amazing increase.
Everyone there was commenting on how much fuller my face looked ("You have cheeks now!") and on my increased belly size. They were very happy to hear I had been doing weight training so I wasn't just gaining fat, but muscle as well.
The dietician and I had a long talk, and she was enthusiastic about the gains. She actually got good use out of the graph function on the Tapbots Weighbot app I've been using to track my gains every day. She was initially concerned I was on some sort of gaining arc, which might not be the best for my health. When I showed her the graph on Weightbot, she saw my weight gains were slowing to more realistic, healthy incremental increases.
She set my target weight at 125, although I told her I really wanted to get to 140 eventually. She didn't have a problem with that, as long as it was a long, measured increase.

THE PFT's  
Unlike weighing myself at home, there's no way to measure my Pulmonary Function levels anywhere but a medical center. I've described the awkward test in a previous post. So coming into today, I really had no idea what to expect where my PFT's would be. I knew my lungs felt better and I was breathing easier, but the numbers are the numbers.
Well, the numbers confirmed I am on the upswing. My FEV1 level last time was in the mid-30% range (sorry, don't have an exact number). Today my FEV1 was 45%. This is a big increase, just by being compliant with my treatments and exercising regularly for ONE MONTH.
And the crazy thing is I know I could have probably blown a better number today, but the chaos of the holiday weekend threw a monkey wrench in my scheduled exercise and treatment routines. I honestly felt a little extra congested today, at least more than I have in the past few weeks. So hitting 45% is definitely a big step-up. The doctor confirmed these were my best numbers since 2008. With a little more work, I could be seeing bigger numbers than I've posted in over five years. I'm going to make it my goal to be over 50% on my FEV1 by next visit.


All this is just a confirmation that I'm on the right track with my health, finally. And it only took me 32 days to make the fundamental change. I know this is a process that won't ever end. Even if I hit all my goals, I will still need to maintain weight, and more importantly, maintain the health of my lungs. The most important thing is that I'm out of the metaphorical woods. Now I just need to keep on the path to being truly healthy.

THE GAINITUDE 11/24

Not much to report today. Another hover day. Maybe my body is relaxing after the relatively big gains made over the past week and a half... or maybe my body is preparing itself for the all out warfare that is going to occur tomorrow. Gobble gobble.

115.6 lbs
+15.9 in 27 days

THE GAINITUDE 11/23

A bit of a hover day today. Didn't expect much anyway since my eating habits yesterday were a little wonky due to some hectic scheduling at work and a much appreciated nap at home. Like I said before, .2 in any direction isn't much to celebrate or fret over, but I'm still happy with being over 115. Proves Monday was not a fluke!

115.6 lbs
+ 15.9 lbs in 26 days.

THE MILESTONE GAINITUDE 11/22

To be perfectly honest, I was sure my weight was going to hover this morning. My eating was just okay yesterday, but I slept in super late, resulting in only two full meals and one snack. Even with my G-Tube feed, I knew I was going to wake up very very close to my number yesterday. If I hit 114.7 (the magic BMI number) it would be a great day.

Well then.

115.4 lbs
+15.7 lbs in 25 days


First off, go back and look at the other Weighbot screencaps. The BMI number is highlighted in red. Now it's just a neutral dark gray. That's right, I'm out of the Underweight and into the Normal!

Second, I am over 115! I can pretty much categorically say this is the most amount of weight I've had on me since I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. Maybe ever. I never had a need to track my weight in high school, but I was always just as thin then. So now, anything above 115 is pushing into new and uncharted waters.

I hit 110, which was returning myself to the top of my baseline. I hit 115, which was getting myself to the peak weight I've been at. Two goals accomplished.

The optimist in me wants to set a big next goal, like 125 by Christmas. But the realist in me thinks 120 is more manageable.

So yeah. 120 by Christmas. Ready?

THE GAINITUDE 11/21

I had a friend in from out-of-town. He's a big beer aficionado, and one of his favorite places is a small So Cal chain called Pizza Port. Even though the closest one is an hour plus (with no LA traffic) the quality of the food and booze is pretty well worth it.
My goal was to devastate one of their awesome deep dish pizzas by myself. I could have easily gone through a small, but I decided on a larger target.

This was my enemy for the night. A medium deep dish with sausage, olives, and enough cheese to make Kraft weep from jealousy.

I plowed into its gusto, but the heaviness of each slice was like an anvil in my stomach. I kept pressing ahead though. Even when my stomach was begging me to stop.

 This was the damage at the final bell. I didn't completely obliterate the thing like I wanted to, but I made a gigantic dent in the the thing. Something I would have never been able to do a mere few weeks ago. I ate this thing around 6pm, and my stomach basically said "NO MORE" for the next few hours. I've never ever ever been as stuffed as I was last night. But it was fun. I can now add my stomach to the list of body parts I have subjected to cruel and unusual punishment in my goal to be a healthy CF'er.

Anyway, onto the Gainitude.


If I had weighed myself last night, I would be posting up an insane gain. But in the spirit of honesty, I did the usual "morning time after GI evacuation"weigh in.

114.6 lbs
+14.9 lbs in 24 days.

I posted yesterday that anything over 114.5 would put me in the Normal weight catagory on the BMI chart. I actually found out today it's 114.7 lbs. So I need another .1 on the scale to get there. And then another .3 to hit the big 115 milestone. Considering my gains over the past week, I'll be there pretty damn soon.

THE GAINITUDE 11/20

This just goes to show when you have a middling weigh-in like I did yesterday, you just gotta keep pushing. I had a nice food (and beer) overload last night, which probably helped push my number up for this morning.

114.2 lbs
+14.5 lbs in 23 days


Getting tantalizingly close to 115! Also, a special thing to note is that when I cross over 114.5 lbs, my BMI technically goes from being Underweight to Normal. I still think 114.5 is underweight according to my metric, but considering how ubiquitous BMI is in determining if a person is at a healthy weight, getting into the Normal range is a nice little goal.

THE GAINITUDE 11/19

Well, the new scale finally came in yesterday. And today's number confirmed my theory.

113.4 lbs
+13.7 in 22 days

First off, I knew the 113.6 from yesterday was a bit of a stretch and that I'd be hovering close to that number for a day or two. So that's confirmed.

It's good to see the new scale giving a close number to what the old scale was giving. This one definitely seems to be more accurate, and it doesn't consistently adjust depending on where and how its positioned. So I feel the number is pretty much accurate.

Anyway, onto the weekend. Hopefully there will be some gains made so I can get this next pound or so taken care of.

THE GAINITUDE 11/18

Running a little late this morning and got to get to a meeting, but here's today's Gainitude.

113.6 lbs
+13.9 lbs in 21 days


Not sure if I trust that I gained a full pound yesterday, but the scale seemed pretty adamant about it. I'll take it, but with full realization that tomorrow's number will probably end up hovering very close to this.

THE ACT OF BREATHING IN, PART 1

Much of this blog's focus so far has been on the Gainitude process. Packing on the pounds. Indeed that is the main thrust of my goal, to get to a proper weight and reap the benefits.

I haven't focused too much time writing about the second part of my goal, which is the quest to improve my lung function. The Gainitude is both a vanity goal (I don't want to be skinny anymore) and a health goal (more weight and more muscle equals healthier lungs to help ward off infection).

But let's talk about lung function for a little while.

If CF'ers have a number that they live and die by, in both a literal and figurative sense, it's their FEV1. FEV1 is a calculation of how much air you can blast out of your lungs in a set amount of time. When you visit clinic, you have to do a ridiculously awkward breathing test to determine what your number is. A good high percentage means your lungs are healthy. If your numbers are low or have dropped from a previous visit, you might have an infection and hospital/IV time might be necessary. It's not the only metric for figuring if your lungs are relatively healthy, but it's an important one. A low FEV1 number is like the "Check Engine" light coming on, and your doctor is the mechanic. 

So keeping that FEV1 number in a good standing is really important. In my former motivationless lazy-ass state, I'd blow in the 40-50% range. If coming off a big dose of antibiotics, I was in the 60% range. My last clinic visit was a 42%. The doctor wanted to put me on more drugs, thinking it was an infection. I knew it was because I wasn't being compliant with my treatments and exercise. That's when I resolved to get serious about my lungs, my weight, everything.

My new exercise routines have a focus on rigorous cardio and weight lifting that will help me build muscle in my chest. 20 days into the program and I can tell it is paying off more than I could have hoped.

First let me describe how I felt when I wasn't compliant.

My mornings would start off with coughing. A lot of coughing. I don't think there is a normal CF'er who doesn't feel congested in the morning, but mine was out of control. Just walking the 10 steps from my bed to the bathroom would send me into a coughing or wheezing attack, I'd be hacking away for minutes, trying to clear the thick mucus that had settled overnight. The worst part is that I felt like I had no control over these episodes. When you're coughing and you do not when or if you're going to stop, it's scary. 

When I started treatments, I'd still have bouts of uncontrolled coughing. The mucus would be thick and plentiful, and I never felt like I was getting everything out. Of course, not being super compliant with all the steps of my treatments didn't help this situation. I was trying to get it over with to get out the door, at the expense of my health.

Once at work, I'd still feel somewhat congested for the first few hours of the day. No coughing attacks, but definitely little coughs, hacks, and throat clears. My lungs usually settled by lunchtime, and my day would progress with "normal feeling" lungs through the end of the workday.

How I felt when I got home from work was a big x-factor. Somedays I felt totally normal and could have an entire evening without issue. Somedays it felt like my lungs closed up and I had to do another albuterol treatment. Somedays I would have a coughing attack out of nowhere. And sometimes, not often, but sometimes, the coughing attacks were so bad I'd vomit and be reduced to a quivering wreck laying on my bathroom floor.

The weird thing is I accepted the above as normal, as part of my life with CF. Which is bullshit. I know that now. But I did think that was how it was, and it affected how I lived my life. Por exemple, if it got kinda late into the evening, and I needed to go out and grab something from the store or whatever, I'd often put it off, for fear I'd have a coughing attack while out. One of my issues has always been how my lungs react from going from one tempurature to another, like going from the warmth of a house to the cold outside air. I've had my lungs sieze up and a coughing attack brought on countless times. They absolutely sucked and made me feel powerless. No way I was going to risk that happening out in public. But I didn't do anything to stop them from happening, I just prevented myself from doing things I wanted to do.

So that's how things were. In the next part (coming an undetermined time when I have enough time/willpower to spill out another mass of words) I will talk about how just a few weeks of exercise has already improved the condition my lungs, and how that's made all the difference in my daily life. 

THE GAINITUDE 11/17

This Gainitude update will be brief today. I have a much longer post I'm putting up later today all about lung function.

112.6 lbs
+ 12.9 in 20 days

Good progress. Things are looking to be on track to hit 115 right before my 11/29 clinic appointment.

THE PLUGITUDE

For plenty of years, I tended to avoid reading CF related websites because I found them a veritable House of Horrors when it came to medical information and stories. Yes, CF can be an ugly disease, and in no way do I think people should whitewash their experiences dealing with it, but reading quite a bit of the information out there was frequently a total bummer.

I'm really happy the site CysticLife exists, because it provides a proper social outlet for those with CF, but with a positive outlook and a ton of great people ready to answer any question or motivate you to feel better, work out more, stick to your treatments, and all the stuff that improves the life of a CF'er. Cystic Life is growing and they are currently in a membership drive to get more people onboard. This is probably the most sincere plug I can give anything ever. If you have CF, care for someone with CF, know someone with CF, or just want to join an amazing community of people, please join.

JOIN CYSTICLIFE TODAY. 

THE PIZZAGONY

So last night after the gym, I came home and a wayward piece of Little Ceasars pizza made its way into my mouth. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I mean, when does pizza not sound like a good idea, especially when my entire goal is to be a comparative fatty?

Well, the pizza decided to exact its deliciois revenge on me this morning. I put this on the Twitters, but I have an acute case of TUM TUM HURTS. Yeah, my stomach is not happy. It happens, we all eat something every once in awhile that disagrees with us. I took some pepto pills, so hopefully everything evens out before lunch.

The good news is that the Pizzagony didn't hinder my progress.

112.2 lbs
+12.5 lbs in 19 days

I was a little worried that yesterday wasn't a solid eating day, but I guess that wasn't true. A nice little boost for the start of the week, to be sure.

The new scale that hopefully won't be a dirty little fickle liar is supposed to be arriving today. So the numbers tomorrow might change based on the new guy's accuracy, versus this Homedics piece-of-shit-i-cant-wait-to-give-to-goodwill.

THE WEEKEND, REVISED

So after all that fretting yesterday about being stuck at 111.2 seems a tiny bit silly. I stepped on the scale this morning and got this.

111.6 lbs
+11.9 lbs in 18 days

Assuming the 11.6 is accurate, I gained almost a half pound over the course of Friday-Sunday. This is actually good, steady weight gain. My frustrations yesterday now seem a little unfounded.

I did make a minor tweak to my diet yesterday as a test. In the past, I've been having my high calorie shake at night, usually very close to my G-tube feeds. Last night, I skipped the shake and made a simple egg and cheese breakfast burrito. It was less feeling, and less calories, but it was a good snack. And I gained weight yesterday with what I would consider a consistent diet from previous days. Minus the shake of course.

Now part of me wonders if the days where I was doing both the high-cal shake and the start of the G-tube feeds so close to each other might have sent my body into overload. That's ALOT of calories to take in during a relatively small period, and perhaps my body wasn't reaping the full benefit of the tube feeds.

So the experiment for the next few days is this: I'm going to space out the time between my shakes and the start of my feeds and see what happens.

THE PHOTO EVIDENCE, PT 1

Many fitness and exercise blogs have the classic "before and after" photos, you know...a picture of the person at the worst unfit form, and then subsequent pictures that track their progress. Usually shirtless and in some unflattering shorts.

I've debated putting photos like that up on here. I did snap some pictures on my phone when I was at my starting low point of 99.7. These were mostly for my trainer to understand my body type. And yeah, I'm totally shirtless and in some horribly unflattering shorts. I'm not sure if I feel 100% comfortable with shirtless pictures of myself easily viewable on the internet just yet, especially since my body was so frail.

As a consolation, I went through my iPhoto archives and pulled a photo from the past where I knew my weight was very low so you could see what my body looked like at that time.

This picture was taken in Summer of 2007. I'm going to guestimate my weight was really close to 100 lbs, if not even under.

This was the last day of a two week roadtrip I took with some friends. The trip was actually incredibly taxing on me. I had contracted a cold right beforehand and it actually had turned into an infection a few days into the trip. I was on oral antibiotics for most of the trip, and combined with the daily rigors of the trip, my weight dropped pretty fast.

Notice the stick-thin arms and very thin face.


In the future, as my weight gain grows, I may feel more comfortable with posting the typical fitness type pictures...hell, I might even post those horrible shirtless photos from when I was 99.7 as proof of how much progress I will have made.

THE STUCKITUDE

I always figured weekends would be the most difficult time for achieving results, simply because schedules get varied so much. Historically, that's always when I felt it was okay to skip G-Tube time. Even on this new Gainitude plan, I was prepared for weekends to be the breathing room time.
I had a fairly slow weekend. The girlfriend was busy with family stuff, so I just decided to work in my Gainitude eating and fitness regimen into Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I figured maybe an extra half pound plus over the end of the weekend would pay off in dividends.

But as of right now, I seem stuck.

111.2 lbs
+11.5 lbs in 17 days

This is the identical number I had on Friday, and is actually .2 down from Saturday, where I weighed 111.4 lb. I'm not worried about the .2 variation, but I am worried that I seem to be hovering around the same number every morning for the past three days, even with doing everything I should be.

My mind is in paranoid mode now.

Am I eating enough? I am pretty damn sure I am!
Are my enzymes working? Have no reason to doubt it.
Does my scale hate me? Well actually maybe. I'm using a Homedics scale at the moment that I know doesn't work very well. The first time I step on it, it will give me a completely inaccurate weight, usually 3-4 pounds high. I have to get off and then get back on for it to give me the "proper" reading, and I do this three times to make sure it's constantly saying the same number. This is what I've been inputting my Weighbot numbers from. I've been consistent with doing it in the morning and with the same amount of clothes for accuracy, but I still feel a little wary of what the scale is telling me. I have another coming from Amazon this week that I hope will be more consistent.

I will keep plowing ahead and doing everything I should be doing. If I see no improvements over the course of the week, then it's time to re-evaluate my current Gainitude eating plan.

THE GYM AND DAILYMILE

Even as the initial rush from "The Burst" wears off, I am still incredibly motivated and happy with the progress made this week.

The first was being extremely compliant with going to the gym as scheduled and doing all my required fitness routines. I even threw in extra cardio on one day. The gym was an intimidating place to be at first, as it felt like I was surrounded by people in better shape than me. People who don't feel the need to cough like a maniac after a particularly rigorous stretch on the treadmill. But, you know what, it gets easier. Everyone at the gym is there to improve themselves, whether they are just starting out or they look like they should be on the cover of Bodybuilders Monthly. I'm just one of those people, there to improve myself. So far, no one has seemed bothered by my coughing (which is a good thing in my book).

Another thing that has kept me motivated has been signing up for Dailymile, which is a great fusion of a social networking site and a training log. I've found some people who motivate me to keep pushing myself, and in turn, I can motivate them. Seeing your "stats" ad up and getting that little boost of encouragement from a friend is enough to make any tough workout worth it.

Here is the link to my Dailymile profile, be sure to become my friend:
Wes On DailyMile

THE BURST SLOWS

As expected, the initial accelerated weight gain I was experiencing has begun to slow. What started out as a sprint will now most likely become a marathon. I have to keep trudging away until I'm at my goal of 140 pounds.

 111.2 lbs
+11.5 lbs in 15 days

THE AMAZING CALORIE SHAKE

Calories are very important. I need to make sure I'm getting enough calories in each day to make sure the proper weight gain is occurring.

Here's a shake recipe I found that really packs in the calories (1300-1500 calories depending on your serving sizes), as well as the protein.

THE SHAKE

• 8 oz whole milk
• 6-8 oz Vanilla Ice Cream
• 4 tbsp Peanut Butter
• 1 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 banana
• 2 big scoops of Whey Powder (I use unflavored)
• (Optional) 4 squirts of chocolate syrup

Stick that in the Blender and GO! Drink up! Be sure to take a bunch of enzymes when drinking cuz you are really packing in the calories on this sucker.

THE BURST AND THE MILESTONE

A combination of sticking to the diet and sticking to the exercise routine has paid off in dividends. The Burst is still cresting.
Most importantly, the first milestone on this long journey has been reached. 110 pounds. I'm now 30 pounds away from my goal of 140.

110.4 lbs
+10.7 lbs in 13 days

THE WORKOUT PLAN

I've been working with Mike of Swole Personal Training to develop a workout plan that would help me gain muscle and improve lung function.

As it stands right now:
Day One: Weight Workout #1 (A combination of various machine lifts as well as a circuit of freeweights)
Day Two: Cardio Workout
Day Three: Weight Workout #2 (A different set of exercises from #1, more freeweights)
Day Four: Cardio
Day Five: Rest
Day Six: Weight Workout #1
Day Seven: Rest/Cardio

It's hard to commit to having every day open for the gym, but I'm willing to give it a go. My overall fitness and strength is just as important as gaining weight.

THE WEEKEND BURST

Most people's weekdays are structured with work or school or whatever. You know the basics of where you need to be and when. So it makes it easier to then schedule your eating and exercise around that.
But weekends are a wildcard. Things change, you go different places, you get home at different times. Can you still keep up the same plan?

Well, in terms of THE GAINITUDE...yes!

107.4
+7.7 lbs in 11 days


I still consider this very much part of The Burst. I'm definitely getting the minimum necessary weight on for more strenuous cardio and weight lifting.
It's going to be a bummer when the day-to-day Fatnessing increases slow down. But I'll enjoy this while it lasts.

THE BURST CONTINUED

105.0 
+5.3 lb in 8 days

THE MOTIVATION

Setting out on a long term health goal requres one particular thing more than anything else: MOTIVATION.

If you're not motivated, you're going to fail. Simple as that. And with dealing with CF, motivation is hard to come by. There's so many downer stories and tales of horror that it's just seems like a losing battle to even try to make CF your proverbial bitch.

I've found three sites that have bucked this trend and that I'm using to motivate myself.

CF FATBOY Jesse is a guy after my own heart. Living with the low weights of CF, he decided to do something about it and has gained an incredible amount of weight over the past year. His blog is not only a journal of his quest to get healthier, but a very strong CF advocacy blog with a ton of great information.

Run Sickboy Run Ronnie Sharpe and his wife Mandi may have one of the most positive outlooks on CF I've ever seen. Ronnie has CF but that doesn't hold him down in the least. He's out there exercising constantly, pushing himself to get better. Seriously inspirational stuff.

Cystic Life  Never in a million years did I think I'd sign up for a social networking site revolving around CF. As I stated above, I didn't want to be inundated with horror stories from hospitals. But Cystic Life is different. It's about positivity and <keyword> MOTIVATION. It's about getting answers and encouraging others. Awesome site.

THE BURST

The first few days of The Fatnessing have been a great learning experience. I feared I was going to be overly bloated and miserable due to the uptick in food consumption. And that was true for the first two days. I felt like I had eaten a baby, and it was desperately trying to kick itself out of me.

But I was eating more. Quite a bit more. Finishing full meals. Not skipping breakfast. Doing G-Tube every night.

Getting back to the gym was great. Hopping back on the cardio bus wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. 20 minutes on the eliptical was a good starting workout without being overly strenuous. Lifting weights is a somewhat different story, definitely a lot of work and tiring. I can tell my poor little muscles just haven't had any real workout in quite some time. Doing full reps and sets is an actual work out. It hurts and it sucks. It's a good thing. It's what I want.

So five days in, how did I do?

103.6, a +3.9 lb gain in 5 days. 


I consider this the start of "The Burst". I'm probably going to gain a bunch of weight back very fast, and then hit a sort of wall and slow down. It's just how any body works. Mine was extremely malnourished and the weight is gonna fly on for a little while. It will be interesting to see where The Burst ends and the slog begins.