THE ACT OF BREATHING IN, PART 1

Much of this blog's focus so far has been on the Gainitude process. Packing on the pounds. Indeed that is the main thrust of my goal, to get to a proper weight and reap the benefits.

I haven't focused too much time writing about the second part of my goal, which is the quest to improve my lung function. The Gainitude is both a vanity goal (I don't want to be skinny anymore) and a health goal (more weight and more muscle equals healthier lungs to help ward off infection).

But let's talk about lung function for a little while.

If CF'ers have a number that they live and die by, in both a literal and figurative sense, it's their FEV1. FEV1 is a calculation of how much air you can blast out of your lungs in a set amount of time. When you visit clinic, you have to do a ridiculously awkward breathing test to determine what your number is. A good high percentage means your lungs are healthy. If your numbers are low or have dropped from a previous visit, you might have an infection and hospital/IV time might be necessary. It's not the only metric for figuring if your lungs are relatively healthy, but it's an important one. A low FEV1 number is like the "Check Engine" light coming on, and your doctor is the mechanic. 

So keeping that FEV1 number in a good standing is really important. In my former motivationless lazy-ass state, I'd blow in the 40-50% range. If coming off a big dose of antibiotics, I was in the 60% range. My last clinic visit was a 42%. The doctor wanted to put me on more drugs, thinking it was an infection. I knew it was because I wasn't being compliant with my treatments and exercise. That's when I resolved to get serious about my lungs, my weight, everything.

My new exercise routines have a focus on rigorous cardio and weight lifting that will help me build muscle in my chest. 20 days into the program and I can tell it is paying off more than I could have hoped.

First let me describe how I felt when I wasn't compliant.

My mornings would start off with coughing. A lot of coughing. I don't think there is a normal CF'er who doesn't feel congested in the morning, but mine was out of control. Just walking the 10 steps from my bed to the bathroom would send me into a coughing or wheezing attack, I'd be hacking away for minutes, trying to clear the thick mucus that had settled overnight. The worst part is that I felt like I had no control over these episodes. When you're coughing and you do not when or if you're going to stop, it's scary. 

When I started treatments, I'd still have bouts of uncontrolled coughing. The mucus would be thick and plentiful, and I never felt like I was getting everything out. Of course, not being super compliant with all the steps of my treatments didn't help this situation. I was trying to get it over with to get out the door, at the expense of my health.

Once at work, I'd still feel somewhat congested for the first few hours of the day. No coughing attacks, but definitely little coughs, hacks, and throat clears. My lungs usually settled by lunchtime, and my day would progress with "normal feeling" lungs through the end of the workday.

How I felt when I got home from work was a big x-factor. Somedays I felt totally normal and could have an entire evening without issue. Somedays it felt like my lungs closed up and I had to do another albuterol treatment. Somedays I would have a coughing attack out of nowhere. And sometimes, not often, but sometimes, the coughing attacks were so bad I'd vomit and be reduced to a quivering wreck laying on my bathroom floor.

The weird thing is I accepted the above as normal, as part of my life with CF. Which is bullshit. I know that now. But I did think that was how it was, and it affected how I lived my life. Por exemple, if it got kinda late into the evening, and I needed to go out and grab something from the store or whatever, I'd often put it off, for fear I'd have a coughing attack while out. One of my issues has always been how my lungs react from going from one tempurature to another, like going from the warmth of a house to the cold outside air. I've had my lungs sieze up and a coughing attack brought on countless times. They absolutely sucked and made me feel powerless. No way I was going to risk that happening out in public. But I didn't do anything to stop them from happening, I just prevented myself from doing things I wanted to do.

So that's how things were. In the next part (coming an undetermined time when I have enough time/willpower to spill out another mass of words) I will talk about how just a few weeks of exercise has already improved the condition my lungs, and how that's made all the difference in my daily life.